Gotham City Fantasy SportsEstablished 2024 · Chaos era 2026
Gotham Gazette
The Newspaper of Record for Gotham City Fantasy Sports
Volume III · Issue 1Week 1Tuesday, September 15, 2026
Week 1 • The Chaos era has receipts

BOBBY’S JUICEMEN NEARLY HIT 300. DOLLY’S DOLLS GOT THE BILL.

Both former champions lost. The new Dave won. A kicker scored 58 points for a team that finished last. Welcome back, everyone.

By the Gotham Gazette Sports Desk
Editorial illustration of Gotham City Fantasy Sports Week 1 chaos, led by Bobby’s Juicemen nearly scoring 300 points.
Week 1 did not ease us into anything.

Bobby scored 298.30 points in Week 1. We gave his draft a B+. We will be discussing our grading process internally.

Bobby’s Juicemen beat Dolly’s Dolls by 115.47, and the worst part for Farrar is that Derrick Henry did his job. Henry scored 64.85, the highest total among Gotham’s starters. Three rushing touchdowns, 144 rushing yards, and a loss large enough to need its own paragraph.

Bobby did not just get one huge game. Caleb Williams supplied 62.43, David Montgomery added 52.65 from the flex, and every starter reached double figures. Remove Caleb entirely and Bobby still has 235.87, more than ten of the other eleven teams scored with a quarterback. That is not a lineup suggestion. It is a complaint.

Dan nearly kept pace at 284.63. Our preseason title pick opened by beating Pat, which creates a small conflict between the Gazette’s commitment to accurate predictions and the publisher’s desire to enjoy football.

Elsewhere, Henny and Dave B, the only champions this league has ever had, both started 0–1. Dave C, new to Gotham, started 1–0. Experience remains valuable. It has simply been asked to wait outside.

There was one genuinely useful lesson underneath all this: a big individual score does not guarantee a good team score, and a good team score does not guarantee a win. Farrar had the best starter. Pat had the fifth-highest team total. Mike scored less than both of them. Guess who is 1–0.

THE RESULTS

Six games. Twelve teams. Several complaints.
Week 1 final totals in the supplied Yahoo screenshots
WinnerPointsOpponentPointsMargin
Bobby's Juicemen298.30Dolly's Dolls182.83+115.47
Zaddy Dan284.63Loose Endz211.46+73.17
Wonder Waah233.74Hailee Steinfeld's Husband171.52+62.22
Hail Mary George217.09Love the Puca hate the game174.25+42.84
Pass Rush David186.41Balls? I'm In!171.57+14.84
Ball Hogs182.70Mariah Carey138.23+44.47

AROUND GOTHAM

What actually decided each matchup

Bobby’s Juicemen leave Dolly’s Dolls with one very unhappy leading man

Bobby’s Juicemen 298.30 • Dolly’s Dolls 182.83

Henry’s 64.85 was magnificent. The combined 1.70 from Kyle Pitts, Jaylen Waddle, and Harrison Mevis was less helpful. Farrar had one player doing three jobs and three lineup spots sharing a paperclip.

Bobby’s depth was the difference. His three running backs, including Montgomery in the flex, produced 119.14. Tyler Loop added 39.00 at kicker. There was no easy place for Farrar to make up ground.

The encouraging part for Dolly’s Dolls is that Henry, Zay Flowers, and Cam Skattebo all delivered. The discouraging part is that the scoreboard does not accept encouraging parts as payment.

Zaddy Dan wins big; Loose Endz file a schedule complaint

Zaddy Dan 284.63 • Loose Endz 211.46

Kenneth Walker, Breece Hall, and Chuba Hubbard combined for 136.90. Jaxson Dart added 50.40, and Pittsburgh’s defense contributed 43.00. Dan got only 2.20 from George Kittle and still won by 73.17. That is a very comfortable place to have a problem.

Pat’s 211.46 was the fifth-best score in the league and 8.08 above the original projection shown in Yahoo. Trevor Lawrence, Jaxon Smith-Njigba, and Chris Olave all came through. This was not a bad team forgetting to play.

Loose Endz would have beaten seven of the other eleven teams. Unfortunately, “seven other teams” was not the opponent listed on the schedule.

Ball Hogs beat Mariah Carey, despite a 58-point solo

Ball Hogs 182.70 • Mariah Carey 138.23

Evan McPherson scored 58.00, or 42% of Henny’s entire total. Mariah Carey has become a solo act, which is on brand but not ideal for fantasy football.

Mike got 47.07 from Bijan Robinson and 39.30 from Isaiah Likely. Those two covered for a 3.57-point outing from Matthew Stafford. Henny’s quarterback, Kyler Murray, scored 1.42. Neither quarterback will be used in the promotional materials.

This was a rematch of Gotham’s first championship game, which Henny won. Mike takes this one by 44.47. It does not come with the old trophy, but it does come with the right to bring the old trophy up.

Mike also received the week’s kindest draw. His score ranked eighth, yet he won. Farrar scored 0.13 more and lost by 115.47. Scheduling remains an excellent way to ruin a friendship without saying anything.

Pass Rush David wins; the expensive kicker was mostly decorative

Pass Rush David 186.41 • Balls? I’m In! 171.57

Dave C’s first Gotham win came courtesy of D’Andre Swift and Josh Allen, who combined for 115.46, nearly 62% of his points. Brandon Aubrey, our much-discussed third-round kicker, supplied 2.00. The supporting cast had very different ideas about the assignment.

Catyn got 45.00 from Jalen Hurts and 25.37 from Jordan Mason. Her first-round J’Mari Taylor pick is already gone, but it is not an explanation for every point this team loses from now on.

This was the closest game of the week at 14.84. Even swapping Denzel Boston’s 19.40 into Tee Higgins’ 11.15-point spot would only get Catyn to 179.82. No single visible bench move rescues this one. Dave C gets the win; Catyn gets a loss that was closer than the other five.

Hail Mary George gets the defense; Love the Puca hate the game gets the invoice

Hail Mary George 217.09 • Love the Puca hate the game 174.25

Jahmyr Gibbs scored 56.05 and Justin Jefferson added 41.45. That is the part of George’s draft we liked, and it held up nicely.

But look at the defenses: Seattle gave George 34.50. Houston took 4.50 away from Alex. That is a 39-point gap in a matchup decided by 42.84. Remove both defense scores, leaving everything else alone, and George’s lead is just 3.84. This is a one-position comparison, not a standard-scoring replay.

Alex had plenty from Ashton Jeanty at 55.10 and Trey McBride at 31.50. His two starting receivers and receiver in the flex combined for 16.85. Houston then charged him for watching.

George won despite no points recorded in the Brock Bowers tight-end slot. That is not something to build a strategy around, even when it works.

Wonder Waah interrupts Hailee Steinfeld’s Husband’s title defense

Wonder Waah 233.74 • Hailee Steinfeld’s Husband 171.52

Ben beat the reigning champion by 62.22 with a lineup that got its biggest push from Christian Watson, Amon-Ra St. Brown, Dallas Goedert, and Jacksonville’s defense. Four different starters topped 30.

Jalen Coker scored another 45.30 on Ben’s bench. Apparently the third-highest team score also came with a reserve supply.

Dave B got 39.57 from Javonte Williams and 20.50 from Dalton Kincaid, but his starting receivers combined for 21.55 and Cameron Dicker added only 2.00. There were useful performances, just not enough of them.

The title still belongs to Dave B. Ben has merely made the first maintenance request.

THE BOARD

Gazette power rankings, not the Yahoo standings

One week changes the order. It does not erase the draft. These are editorial rankings, with movement from Issue 0.

01

Zaddy Dan

1–0 · 284.63 points · unchanged

Dan keeps the top spot. Three productive backs, Dart, and Pittsburgh covered a quiet tight end. The preseason pick has earned another week.

02

Bobby's Juicemen

1–0 · 298.30 points · up 4

Bobby makes the biggest statement. Every starter hit double figures. This is a close second, not a complaint about 298.30.

03

Wonder Waah

1–0 · 233.74 points · up 5

Ben beat the champ and had Coker on the bench. Several different lineup spots drove the win.

04

Hail Mary George

1–0 · 217.09 points · up 1

George’s stars delivered. Seattle helped enormously; the tight-end slot still needs attention.

05

Loose Endz

0–1 · 211.46 points · down 3

Pat drops, but not to the basement. Fifth in scoring and a bad opponent draw is different from a broken roster.

06

Love the Puca hate the game

0–1 · 174.25 points · down 2

Alex’s Jeanty–McBride pairing worked. The receiver group and Houston did not. The preseason strength keeps this from being a one-week verdict.

07

Dolly's Dolls

0–1 · 182.83 points · down 4

Farrar still has Henry, Flowers, and Skattebo. The holes at tight end, flex, and kicker were expensive.

08

Pass Rush David

1–0 · 186.41 points · down 1

Dave C is 1–0, with Allen and Swift doing most of the work. The win does not erase the zero at tight end or thin supporting scores.

09

Ball Hogs

1–0 · 182.70 points · up 2

Mike moves up. Bijan and Likely supplied the win; an eighth-place scoring finish keeps the celebration measured.

10

Hailee Steinfeld's Husband

0–1 · 171.52 points · unchanged

Dave B’s title buys respect, not immunity. Javonte and Kincaid were useful; the receiver room was quiet.

11

Balls? I'm In!

0–1 · 171.57 points · up 1

Catyn beat her preseason ranking in the scoring order and kept it closest. Hurts and Mason give us something besides the draft pick to discuss.

12

Mariah Carey

0–1 · 138.23 points · down 3

Henny had the lowest score even with 58 from McPherson. The bench offers choices, but several positions need better weeks.

THE CHAOS DESK

Big swings are measurable. A made-up index is not.

Mariah Carey’s kicker would like to speak to management

We spent draft week explaining why kickers might matter. McPherson responded with 58.00. Aubrey responded with 2.00. Both were making the point, just from opposite ends.

Among Gotham’s starting kickers, the range was 1.00 to 58.00, a 57-point spread. Starting defenses ran from Houston’s −4.50 to Pittsburgh’s 43.00, a 47.50-point spread. Those are big differences in positions many managers used to treat as finishing touches.

There is a limit to what this proves. Take every team’s kicker and defense out of its Week 1 total and all six winners still win. Those positions changed the size of the victories; they did not change the winners in that particular test. That does not tell us what would have happened under standard scoring.

The useful takeaway is not “take any kicker early.” It is that these lineup spots deserve attention, and paying a high draft price does not buy a quiet Sunday.

GOTHAM SKETCHES

Editorial cartoon
Editorial cartoon showing Evan McPherson carrying Mariah Carey after scoring 58 fantasy points, 42 percent of the team total.
Some teams have stars. Henny had a kicker.

BENCH CRIMES

Tuesday hindsight is not proof of Sunday negligence

Wonder Waah leaves 45.30 points in the waiting room

Jalen Coker takes the Bench Crime award with 45.30, the highest benched score in the supplied matchups. Starting him over George Pickens would have added 38.50 to Ben’s total. Ben still won easily, which makes the regret more of a luxury item.

Henny’s Jayden Daniels decision deserves a look, not a false verdict. Daniels scored 29.19 on the bench versus Murray’s 1.42. The swap adds 27.77, taking Henny to 166.00, still short of Mike’s 182.70. A better quarterback choice alone would not have won the matchup.

For Pat, Croskey-Merritt over Pollard adds 17.63 and still leaves a loss by 55.54. And Mahomes’ 39.93 on the bench was not a mistake: Lawrence scored 49.95 in the actual quarterback slot.

All of these are hindsight comparisons. Knowing the scores on Tuesday is a very affordable skill.

THE TRANSACTION DESK

The visible paper trail

Ball Hogs pick up what Mariah Carey puts down

The visible transaction log has a nice piece of timing: Henny dropped Brian Thomas Jr. for Tre Tucker on September 10. Mike claimed Thomas on September 13, dropping Kayshon Boutte, and then beat Henny.

Thomas scored 9.25 on Mike’s bench, so this was not a revenge performance. We checked before getting carried away.

Henny also swapped the Rams’ defense for Tennessee and Ray Davis for Samaje Perine. Farrar added Najee Harris. Those moves are visible in the supplied log; it is not a complete transaction history.

THE WAIVER WINDOW

A watchlist from the supplied available-player snapshot

These are Week 1 results, not Week 2 projections. The supplied list marks these players W (Sep 16). Recheck availability, health, and role before a claim; nobody needs to drop a starter simply because a table is sorted by points.

TE · 26.55 Week 1 points

Mike Gesicki

Five catches on seven targets, 78 yards, and five receiving first downs. The touchdown helped, but the first-down work is especially relevant here.

WR · 24.15 Week 1 points

Devaughn Vele

Seven catches on nine targets. That involvement is the interesting part, not just the touchdown.

WR · 18.65 Week 1 points

Kalif Raymond

Eight catches on nine targets, 84 yards, five first downs, and no touchdown. A useful reminder that a watchlist does not have to start with whoever scored twice.

RB · 16.67 Week 1 points

Kaelon Black

Fourteen carries for 65 yards. A lower score than some touchdown scorers, but a workload worth checking again before dismissing.

QB · 52.27 Week 1 points

Bryce Young

The biggest available offensive score in the supplied list: 361 passing yards and four total touchdowns. That is a reason to inspect the role and matchup, not an automatic reason to replace an established starter.

Source: supplied available-offense player list. This list does not include kicker or defense candidates. The order here is editorial, not a rest-of-season ranking.

NEXT WEEK IN GOTHAM

Week 2 schedule confirmed from Yahoo

CORRECTIONS & OTHER DISCOMFORTS

Issue 0 praised the third-round Aubrey pick. He scored 2.00. We stand by the point that kickers matter and regret how specifically we illustrated it.

We gave Bobby’s draft a B+ and Farrar’s an A. Bobby won their matchup by 115.47. The letters have been placed on administrative leave.

One actual correction: Issue 0’s image caption said “Same 12 managers.” Dave C is new to Gotham. That should have said “Twelve teams.” The Gazette regrets making someone a returning member before his first game.